What a disease like Parkinson's can teach you

Recently, I was in Calcutta to spend some time with sister. Brother-in-law is possibly in the last stages of Parkinson’s. I have seen an uncle suffer from Alzheimer’s, but the suffering my brother-in-law goes through every day, every few hours, is something I just cannot describe. And to think he is only 71!

Parkinson’s struck brother-in-law early – he must have been in his late fifties. Until about two years ago, he managed. He would travel from Purbachal (where he lives) to Camac Street to oversee his business. The past year has been cruel to him. He now faces ‘attacks’ that come in waves, has hallucinations, is unable to get up or walk most of the time… but more than all that, it is the pain and agony he goes through whenever there is an “episode” that makes it unbearable even to see.

And when there is an episode, he is trying very hard to gather himself in bed, legs trying move in an arc, neck up, without need for a pillow. His eyes are dilated; he mumbles and often makes an effort to call. We arrive but do not quite know what to do.

When he comes back to normal, he says we must not pull his arms or legs in any direction when there is an attack – he will tell us what to do. Then, the hallucinations bring him pictures of places he has been to many times and knows well – a pharmacy nearby, Gariahat, Ramakrishna Mission Hospital… A couple of times as I entered the room, he ordered me to “freeze” – his mind was probably conjuring up some other image.

As I was about to leave after a three-day stay, he broke down and asked me to come again. The visit left a deep imprint in my mind. What really must be going on in the minds of people who are suffering like him? He still wishes to live – “I have to survive somehow”, he told me once when he had just got past an attack. Survive he does, with his will power, and ability to grasp bits and pieces of information that he tries to absorb from the newspaper pages and television when the disease allows him to do so.

I have told sister that God mustn’t punish him so much and just let him leave. She agrees. She knows how it is to take care of a person in such desperate straits. But she is fighting the odds bravely. I wish I could do something to help. The least I can do, I know, is to be there as often as I can and lend her moral support.

When you see people suffer from terminal diseases, like my brother-in-law is, you begin thinking how petty all our fights and quarrels are. Life is so much more than all that. It teaches you so much, humbles you in inexplicable ways. And such lessons you may not find in any textbook or career.